EVER FEEL LIKE THIS????
Why is it that we run ourselves so thin? We go and go and go, then we stop to sleep, get up and go again. I have found myself in this exact GO mode this past week or so, and quite honestly I am not very fond of it. I was telling a friend today that I do really well until about 7pm, then I look at the clock, realize the time and start to freak out! How can it be 7pm all ready? I have so much left to do before I can stop, what was I think and so on… Why? Why do we do this?
I wish I had an answer but I don’t. I do realize why my house was always a mess last year, and why I was trying to plan dinners the night of. It’s because there isn’t enough time in one day to accomplish all the things that I thought I was amazing enough (haha) to accomplish. This year so far, my 4 kids are done with their homeschool lessons around 12:00pm. My house is clean enough that I won’t be embarrassed if you show up unannounced, my dinners are planned and usually cooking by 4:30m but everything else is chaos. It is so hard to find a balance. How do I still make time for my husband, my friends, my bible time, my bible study at church, relaxing, grading, budgeting, my freshman girls at the church and MYSELF? Anyone else feel like sometimes life is just too much? I know I can’t be alone in this. Its not just a stay at home Mom thing, or a homeschool Mom thing either. You working Moms have got to feel the same amount of stress for different reasons, it just seems so overwhelming.
I keep thinking that if I get up earlier it will help. It doesn’t. It seems to me that the only thing that calms me down when my 7:00pm freak out happens, is stopping, breathing and praying. Yep, praying for myself, all by myself. God wants to hear from us when we are feeling weak. He is our strength and always will be. He knows the reasons for all that we do, or all that is happening in whatever season of life we are in. My daughter and I were talking in the car today about how both of us are learning that if we stop, slow down, think and look around, we can see Gods work being done in our lives and the peoples lives around us.
God wants us to call on him, to cry out to him, to lean on him. He wants to help carry our burdens, lighten our loads, and show us the GOODNESS that he brought to our crazy days. When we take the time to think about what is happening in our lives, we can see the big or small ways that God has control. He knows what is best, what is needed, what lesson we need to learn and the best way for us to learn it.
Psalm 139 says it perfectly:
Lord, you have examined me
and know all about me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
3 You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
4 Lord, even before I say a word,
you already know it.
5 You are all around me—in front and in back—
and have put your hand on me.
6 Your knowledge is amazing to me;
it is more than I can understand.
7 Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
Where can I run from you?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
9 If I rise with the sun in the east
and settle in the west beyond the sea,
10 even there you would guide me.
With your right hand you would hold me.
11 I could say, “The darkness will hide me.
Let the light around me turn into night.”
12 But even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night is as light as the day;
darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother’s body.
14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
15 You saw my bones being formed
as I took shape in my mother’s body.
When I was put together there,
16 you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
were written in your book
before I was one day old.
I know that I have a ways to go right now in this moment, but I know that I will get to a place that my 7:00pm freak out will end. I am hoping that it turns into an 8:00pm wined down! I know that when I open my eyes, God is there. My hope is in him, my peace needs to be in him, and my joy comes from him. My goal this week is to see Gods peace in my crazy! I hope that you can see your peace as well.